Poor Keillor

I read with great interest Garrison Keillor's article today in Salon.com suggesting our country change Columbus Day to Bush Day as a way of honoring kindness, compassion and modesty. In his proposal Keillor refers to the president as delusional and arrogant and then proceeds to suggest that honoring him with such a hoiiday would serve to be a cautionary endeavor for all Americans.

First off, let me say that I do not disagree with any of Garrison's assertions about George the Lessor. Anyone who knows me or has read this blog at all knows this. What I find humorous about Mr. Keillor's article is the matter of his own self delusion - what any mental health professional will tell you is often a primary trait of addicts and alcoholics - self-projection.

Let me tell you a true story. On earth day 2002(1?) I was leaving a benefit I had helped to coordinate for the Iowa City Green Party and I stopped by the Mill Restaurant to get some dinner on my way home. I noticed Mr. Keillor sitting at the bar. I knew he was in town that night giving a reading. I also knew he was liberal leaning in politics and known to be an environmentalist.

I decided to approach him and talk to him about the Green Party as I was also on the national fundraising committee. I ate half my blackbean burger and walked over to him. The first thing I noticed when I got close to him was how sweaty he was. This man was dripping with sweat. I was a little concerned he had some sort of chronic health problem - which, in fact, he does - alcoholism is a chronic, often fatal, disease. Anyway, I went ahead and introduced myself. He half-ignored me as he ordered another drink. Determined to get his intention and hopefully some funds for the GP, I continued on with my pitch.

The minute he heard me say Green Party, he launched into a tirade about how awful we were and how we had ruined the electoral system and the democratic party. His words slurred as he proceeded along with his diatribe. The entire time he was berating me, he was also looking me up and down. When he finally stopped, I was so shocked I just looked back at him and said, "Well, I guess this means you'd rather not make a contribution to the national party?"

This is when Mr. Prairie Home Companion demonstrated just how kind, compassionate, modest and, well, compainionable he really was - he actually replied to me, "Well, I'm sure we could work something out if you'd like to go back to my motel room with me." There we are - arrogant and delusional. I turned around, walked back to my table, payed my bill and left the restaurant. Besides knowing the man was married, I was completely shocked and disgusted by his rudeness in belittling my beliefs and then most of all by propositioning me to have sex for money. I guess he must have been used to being able to get anything he wanted by paying for it - at least where women were concerned.

There you have it, Columbus, Bush and Keillor have so very much in common. All three of them believe that anything or anyone can be bought. I have a proposal of my own. Let's change Columbus day the the official, annual Buy-Nothing Day. Now that would truly be patriotic. I for one have had enough delusion and arrogance for a life time.