Cheering for the Devil

A couple of night's ago I watched Bryan Singer's The Usual Suspects for the 15th of 16th time and I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever become a good enough person to NOT be insanely anxious near the film's end that Keyser S^ze (Kevin Spacey) get out of that interrogation room and away with all his dastardly deeds by the end of the flick. Hell, I know how evil he is and, of course, I know he WILL get away. That's part of the beauty of the script (penned by Christopher McQuarrie) and it's execution. I can watch the thing over and over and still suspend my disbelief. Shit, the fact that I can root for a guy who murders Gabriel Byrne (sweet jesus, what a sexpot) in cold blood is a friggin' miracle.

If I'm completely honest with myself I doubt I'll ever be able to stop cheering for Keyser. If you are smart and are or have been the least bit rebellious in your life there is no way you can't appreciate a really good scam and the really good scamsters. The smartest dude in this whole deal turns out to be the devil but you gotta appreciate the fact that he's not a dumbass. I know I'm making progress, however, because I used to find Spacey a little bit sexy in this role and this is no longer the case. Besides Byrne the only other real hottie in terms of characters is FBI agent Jack Bear played by Giancarlo Esposito. Sexy primarily because he's also very smart and not such a friggin' white boy. Too bad he missed the better days on TV's Homicide, before the creators had to bow to network pressure and beautify all the detectives, etc. That was a rocking show that employed a number of groovy former Baltimoran pals, to boot.

So anyway back to this good person theme. I'm trying. I pay my bills. Make payments on my debts. I've learned to have a pretty healthy respect for my limitations. I support my friends. Try to keep my judgements about other's in check. My big indulgences these days are sugar, ciggarettes and sleep. The first two are minor in comparison to these habits in many others but I still feel shitty about them. My personal history is complicated and like Keyser I've probably kept too many secrets but I'm good for my word and do beleive that discretion is the better part of valor. One of my biggest problems has always been making poor choices in the people I've choosen to trust. I tend to be pretty impulsive and now I'm becoming a bit reclusive as a result. Jeez, this is getting sort of heavy.

I heard a very wicked observation this morning. Dan Savage said that the reason Bill Clinton didn't die after his heart surgery was because hell was already full. That could explain why many of us are still bopping around. Well, it could be that or it could be that Keyser S^ze is, in fact, in charge and being good rarely pays. There's this saying I hear alot, "It's a God thing." Most of the time that usually means somebody has gotten or is getting what they want, IMO. I'm a skeptical woman but I've earned that right. Wow, I mean if the Devil got cast down into hell because he loved God too much then I'm completely screwed for being too attached to clever people and clever writing. I love 'em and it way too much (ergo this movie). I'm doomed!

Oh well on the ethics thing, I guess I'll watch The Usual Suspects again in a year or two and let you know how my soul has progressed. In the mean time, why in the hell did they have to insert that ridiculous line "Oswald was a fag" when Stephen Baldwin is aiming his powerboy at the ship in the film's final 30 minutes. Follywood formula-- gotta get the anti-queer joke in. For goodness (haha) sake!