Friday, February 11, 2005

Meg Does Manners - March Preview

Dear Meg,

I drive much faster than I know I should. If I get another speeding ticket I am going to lose my license. A girl in my office told me she sweet talks her way out of tickets all the time because a lot of cops are men. Lately I've noticed more women in blue. Any tips on how to talk my way out of a ticket from the opposite sex?

Kenny

My Dear Kenny,

My advice is to tell you to slow down and not be in such a rush all the time. Take a deep breath. I am glad you've noticed a few more women on the force and your question is a timely one since March is International Women's Month. I did some research on your query and found some “tips” courtesy of Dick Dogger, a retired Texas State Trooper in Dallas. He recommends you use flattery and suggests saying "My, you have beautiful eyes!" or "Nice earrings, officer!" Don’t forget to slip her a couple of $20s when she asks for your driver's license, he says. "Lady cops don't make as much money as us guys so they're happy to pick up the extra dough.” Lastly Dogger suggests you feel free to lie through your teeth. Tell her you're speeding because you've got to get to church to see your kid’s play. You’ll get off the hook "because female officers are more understanding than us guys."

I'm just passing this on, Kenny. I suspect 'ol Dick's charm might be wearing thin and those “lady cops” are smarter than he thinks. They may be giving him a pass because he used to be a brother in arms? I’d keep in mind that what flies in Texas doesn’t necessarily sail so sweetly in Iowa but a compliment usually brightens everyone’s day. Try and stay outta trouble, ya’ hear.

Love,

Meg


Dear Meg,

I'm graduating from law school this spring and am beginning to be recruited by some big firms in the corporate world. I have no idea how to behave during these interviews. What are these people looking for. They didn't teach us anything about manners at the University where I went. Do you know anything about this?

Sheila

My Dear Sheila,

Congratulations on finishing law school. That's a big achievement. You have chosen an area to specialize in that appears to be going gang busters these days. Are you prescient? I am a bit surprised you never received any instruction in business or interviewing etiquette. This is an essential skill in securing a good position in the professional world. Job-seekers need to be on their P & Q's with potential employers. Donald Trump may be making arrogance and bad behavior seem like good strategies on television but, alas, television is not “reality” no matter what you call it.

Many of your interviews will probably take place over lunch. The agenda is to watch you maneuver your way through the meal. Small gestures at the table can be indicative of future behavior in the business arena. If you fumble with your cutlery you might be judged as having little control over psycho-motor skills and in need of costly medication; if you are nervous and fidget with food you risk being seen as suffering from a post traumatic stress disorder; and if you are more interested in your food than business matters you could be taken for a woman with a compulsive eating disorder in need of treatment. Any of these human frailties could wind up sneaking past the insurance company physicians making you, in their eyes, more financial trouble than you are no doubt worth. Heavens to Betsy!

I'm being my usual irreverent self, Sheila, but only slightly. You only have a small window of time when the possibility of employment presents itself. Try to have confidence in yourself and your abilities. You have no doubt invested a hefty sum into your education. Why not invest a few more dollars on a course in business manners?

In the meantime, if you have any lunch interviews, don't talk too much, chew with your mouth open, order any excessively expensive menu intems, drink alcohol or forget to thank the interviewers for their time and send a follow up note restating your gratitude for the former.

If you’d like professional counseling, you have my email. Good luck and thanks for writing.

Love,

Meg

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