Friday, July 02, 2004

Big Bag of Double Stackers

Okay, let's get one thing straight from the get-go, I am no fan of McDonald's or any of the corporate evils that have been associated with them over the years. As my previous posts have probably indicated I am not much of an advocate of greed or mass consumption of any kind. So what's my problem with all the rave reviews for "Super Size Me"? The answers are complicated. When the film first came out I was talking to a friend about it and he said, "Crap, I'd just be happy if someone would buy me a meal at McDonald's." Another friend said that as he was running around working the three jobs he has to work in order to pay all his bills, he occasionally finds himself at the Big M. He purchases a grilled chicken sandwich. He also had the decency to tell me he felt badly relating this story to me as I am unemployed and he is fortunate enough to have three jobs. What a champ.

Marlon Brandon just died at the age of 80. No word on the cause yet and I'm dreadfully out of the loop on most things Follywood. However, I once had it on very good authority that dear Marlon was so hooked on Big Macs and so bloody tired of having his privacy invaded that he made a deal with his local Micky Dees. One of the employee's would drive up to the wall of his estate and toss a big bag of the double stackers over the side for one of his serfs to retrieve. Hell, if you believe everything you hear and everything you read OJ and Kato had a swell meal under the golden arches just a few hours before "you know what" happened. Perhaps, it's more dangerous to be married to someone who eats fastfood? Just a question.

Clearly there are many important, far reaching questions at issue here and I'm merely making an argument to serve the points I wish to make. For instance, if I needed more evidence that eating huge amounts of fat, beef and sugar were bad for me I'd be the first one the list to sign up for ownership of my own copy of the DVD. I felt the same way about Errol Morris' "The Fog of War". Yep, Robert MacNamara was a slimeball and the Vietnam War was evil and wrong. Do I need to be reminded? May I also note that MacNamara is an old dude who used to be "famous" and gets a free shot at re-glorification by doing the public remorse deal. Hey, it worked for Hugh Grant.

Here's an idea. Let's all S U P E R S I Z E ourselves, shall we? One big theater of the absurd. I'm film you if you film me. We'll pool our resources and book a theater. I would not be working on this blog if I did not have larger ambitions (note use of word "large"). In the mean time, would someone buy my friend Daniel a happy meal? The low-carb version, of course.

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